Will I meet one-on-one or are there others in a session?
Sexual health coaching is almost always one-on-one meetings. Firstly, one-on-one sessions are private and confidential which empowers you to build positive feelings about your sexuality. Also, one-on-one sessions work very well because a person can focus on their own goals, sexual skill, and personal questions without distraction.
It’s much easier to “wrap your head around” your understanding and what you want to do when it’s just you. Occasionally, though, a couple will want to meet at the same time once they’ve completed and are satisfied with their own individual work.
Is Sexual Health Coaching private and confidential?
Yes, absolutely. Our meeting space is quiet, comfortable, and free from distraction. Your contact and identifying information is encrypted and secure as are any notations we make regarding your personal development plans, sessions, or progress.
We value and understand that you value how confidence in confidentiality can empower you to take action for yourself. Your privacy and confidentiality is your greatest asset in coaching.
Finally, it’s important for you to know that we are legally mandated to report any illegal activity you may reveal to us.
Are you a therapist or a doctor?
I am a sexuality educator which is very different from a sex therapist or a physician. Where a doctor or therapist makes a psychological or medical diagnosis of illness, disorder or injury, a sexuality educator guides a person in sexual development and skill through use of instruction, exercises and coaching. It’s not much different from a voice coach, business coach or instructor who helps you with your golf swing.
Don’t people just naturally know how to do sex?
No. Our minds and bodies possess a certain amount of natural sexual ability, however, our sexual capacity for pleasure, relating and enlightenment is barely ever accessed. Sadly, our culture frowns on helping and teaching one-another to grow sexually. Sexual health coaching is an opportunity to access the natural skill and ability which we already possess but never use.
My sex life isn’t terrible. How can I benefit from Sexual Health Coaching?
While many people seek sexual health coaching because they’re frustrated, stuck or even bored, others seek sexual health coaching because they aspire to something greater in a sex life which they already enjoy. They want to make something good even better.
Does sexual orientation matter?
No. While our primary work is with male-bodied people, we understand the complexities of sexual attraction and that sexual feeling for others can be surprising. We’ll help you work with who you are. We are friends in the LGBTQ community, but there is no need for you to identify in any community at all. We get that.
What’s it like talking about personal sexual stuff?
For many, the simple process of talking about sexuality in a personal context as opposed to a general context is hugely liberating. Talk is the first great skill to develop — the ability to speak about yourself sexually. Many relationship sexual issues possess a significant communication element simply because one or both partners lack the skill to speak about themselves sexually.
Most quickly discover that they really enjoy talking about sex since they seldom encounter the opportunity. Many discover their own self-esteem increases exponentially having spoken positively of their own sexuality.
What happens in a Sexual Health Coaching session?
Our sessions are talking sessions. We also understand that our mind, body, and environment all affect our sexual experience so we work holistically.
Session to session can differ greatly, but we will always identify what you want even if you aren’t sure what you want before you arrive. Following that, we’ll provide information or knowledge, work on goal-setting, skill-building, exercises, and possibly an assignment where you can work independently.
Do you touch clients?
No. Our role is as an educator, touch isn’t really necessary. We always remain clothed. We’ll definitely talk and we may demonstrate something physically so that you can understand sometimes confusing posture and positions. We may show you something “in the air” or use graphics or models to illustrate what we want you to understand.
I’m a very conservative person, and I’m skeptical about liberal sexual ideas and talk.
We completely understand that. Our background also comes from a very Midwest conservative perspective. We see that as a perspective of strength to help a person achieve what they want. We will never impose values or ideas on you that conflict with your own. As much as you want to explore, we’ll help you do that.
I don’t have a sex partner. How can Sexual Health Coaching help me?
Our personal sexuality isn’t dependent on relationship status at all. We’re sexual. We enjoy our own sexuality independently. Our sexuality empowers our life, creativity, and all relationships. Once we believe and live those truths, we can very effectively add partners to the mix.
Having said that, you can see that relationship status or sexual experience are not necessary to develop our own sexuality. Many seek coaching long before first-time sexual experiences and find that it sets a positive, enjoyable, and secure tone to sexual experiences and relationships which follow. Others seek coaching for the same reasons because they want to improve their skills before their next relationship.
How long will it take for Sexual Health Coaching to help?
How long entirely depends on you. Most benefit greatly from talk in the first session. The rest depends largely on what you would like to achieve and how much you practice independently. Most people see results from their work rather quickly.
How often do we meet?
It’s best to find an optimum frequency to allow what you’re learning to turn into skill between sessions. Depending on what you’re working on that could be weekly, every two weeks, or monthly. Some may return to add additional skills as they discover their sexual horizons expanding.
I have some very specific thoughts about what I want.
Great! Let us know upfront if your wishes are that clear. We’ll take that opportunity to prepare.
Aren’t there limits to how you can help?
Naturally. We are of course limited to what we can achieve in a session. We will rely on additional things that you can do independently such as reading, video resources, clinic or psychological referrals, and so on. If we can’t help you, we’ll say so.
Can you coach over the phone?
While in-person is our preferred method, Zoom calls can be arranged.
Who won’t you coach?
We are unable to provide services to: Individuals who are under the influence of drugs or alcohol during sessions, individuals with sex offenses and required to report, individuals under the age of 18 (we may ask for proof of age), anyone considered vulnerable, or anyone with a socially debilitating psychological disorder.
What are the steps to making it happen?
Click the button to arrange an appointment. Let me know your specific needs and we’ll discuss setting up an appointment. The first step is to inquire and get the conversation going. We’ll move at your pace.